Frustrated Incorporated

With your suicide kings and your drama queens,
Forever after happily, making misery...

What a great song from the mid-90's when radio played songs that weren't coming back around on the rotation 12 songs after. Too bad the guy from Soul Asylum died...they weren't my favorite band, but their songs kind of take me back to that little town in the middle of Texas.

Anyways, the reason I'm frustrated (at this present point in time), is my guitar is broken. It died in my arms about a week or two ago. Well, actually it died on my naked lap while sitting on my couch playing songs for myself in the living room. So there I am, putting on a concert for myself, half-naked (only my boxers on), and the damn thing starts making a noise that sounded like the sound effects from the game Asteroids on the Atari 2600. After shaking the guitar, frantically turning knobs and pick-up switches, the piece of shit decides to shock me. I suppose it was tired of the abuse I was giving it and decided to retaliate. Then there's a loud pop, and I pull the chord out, take the guitar off of my lap to avoid electrocution in my own living room, and turn the amp off. I open the back up like a surgeon about to perform open heart surgery on my Les Paul, and a mini-plume of smoke comes out of what could be considered the chest cavity of my guitar. Upon seeing this and the charred wires that function as the central nervous system, my prognosis was death on arrival.

OBITUARY - "Dehlila" (The name of my guitar) 1999-2005

Born 1999 in Lubbock, Texas at Jent's Music, Dehlila served as the musical embodiment of Cory Will for the better part of six years. She lived a productive life, participating in several bands, with her longest stint in the band "The Fratastics." Serving as the rythym guitar, she provided many drunk fraternity parties the ability to process what song was coming through high-decibel amps and served as a hearty backdrop to many solos for a Mexican Telecaster. A very reliable guitar, she rarely fell out of tune and often endured a fair amount of abuse from her drunken owner who was too lazy to put her back in her case after a show, because he was more occupied with getting completely wasted and trying to make out with girls at various bars and fraternity parties. Battled bridge problems at one time and had a stint at The Guitar Garage being repaired by a nutjob named Wally who often took $2.57 and a stick of Wintergreen gum as his payment. She was preceeded in death by a "State of the Art" beginner's guitar, and a Silvertone 1956 acoustic. Survived in death by her soulmate, a Peavy Studio Pro 60 amp, and her newly found love, a Lab Series L7 amp with 4 ten-inch speakers. Married to the Peavy for years, her relationship blossomed with the L7 not long before her death. She will be missed by all. She is buried with a 7M3 sticker and a set list from the Beach Bums party taped to her back.

Rest in Peace...