So I made it back intact from a blurry weekend in Oklahoma, and hot damn (!), chalk up another one in the win column for trips to Oklahoma. It keeps it's undefeated streak intact for "trips considered a success...or...trips classified as fucking outstanding." Jason, Justin, and I drove up on Friday, and within two minutes of my arrival, I drive down to the pond below the house and Will is holding up a 5 pound bass and Jason and Justin are yelling some bullshit story to me about how "a snake ate Will's lure, and while he was reeling in, a five pound bass ate the snake and got snagged on the lure!" So I say, "Where's this snake?" "Oh he got off..." Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly how it happened with no exaggeration whatsoever...and I gave a hitch-hiking Charlie Chaplin a ride to the train depot outside of Denton.
Anyways, we proceeded to drink ourselves into oblivion, while lying about stories from college, laughing at each other's lies, having an inebriated "meeting of the minds" communal to discuss some various topics, ranging from serious to assinine, and then passing out at about, aww who the hell knows...I couldn't even stand straight enough to piss...I had to sit down to piss in the toilet....
After waking to the sound of the wah-wah's in my head and the skull-crushing headache each of us had, we headed out to Ardmore for more fishing and a complete tour of the facilites where Will has been employed this summer. Matt came up the next day, replacing Jason on the roster (who went home for his graduation party), and we did mass amounts of fishing again in the blazing sun of Ardmore, Oklahoma. After sweating profusely and being the victims of an effective offensive of fire ants, we decided to tour the facilities where Will works. The Noble Foundation is a multi-million dollar wildlife, fisheries, and agricultural research facility, that attracts many top-level professionals in their respective fields to conduct valuable research, accelerating the technologies and breakthroughs behind the agricultural sciences. It's a great place for Will to intern and the experience will be invaluable in the pursuit of his career. Plus, he gets to fish and gets paid for it...cocksucker.
That evening, we piled in the truck after some much needed showers (believe me, sitting out in the hot sun fishing all day, without the comfort of a shower for a day-and-a-half, can turn on you really quick...producing a smell somewhat resembling the lining of a litter box), and headed to McGehee's Catfish. Funny thing is, Justin's last name is McGehee so we pried him to see if we could get our meal comped. Oh irony, you funny bastard...........it didn't work. Not at all. In fact, the only thing McGehee's Catfish did for us was spin off a peristaltic chain reaction leading us to spend the next hour patiently waiting in turn for the bathroom. There's actually a landing strip next to the restaurant, and the place REALLY advertises this fact. Man, whoever flies in to eat McGehee's Laxativefish, better have the proper utilities for dispersing human excrement on the flight home. Geez...this story is getting out of hand, but IT WAS a weekend of seven guys.
That night we all decide to pile in my truck and go carousing through the pastures. Took a few pictures with my digital camera (which I will try to post), and went fishing again for a little while. Justin "claims" to have caught the biggest fish he's ever caught in his life, supposedly weighing in at 8.5 lbs, but the evidence is scarce and transparent. He says he took a picture so the jury is still out I suppose. We all catch a few more fish, then head up to the house for "booze time." We sit out on the truck and I swear if somebody had heard the shit that we were talking about, they would have wanted to kick their own ass for being present, or shoot themselves in the head from confusion. Our topics of conversation ranged from Bigfoot to the Messianic Conspiracy to hot girls to top-secret government aircraft to coyotes to ugly girls to burned-out stars to swimming over the Marianas Trench to girlfriends, and the reflection of space and time as a vehicle to accessing the past. After successfully solving every problem that has faced humanity, we decide to drive stupidly drunk through the pasture in my truck.
Matt, Justin, Will and I pile in and begin to drive NASCAR style through the pastures, completely shit-canned. Creating UFO-like crop circles in the fields of the Noble Foundation and Will “My Future Depends on a Good Recommendation From These People” Moseley, verbally assaults me (with good reason) much to the amusement of my passengers and myself somewhat. Sorry Will...
After that it gets a little blurry and several thousand phone calls later I finally lay my head down on the pillow at 11:15 am on Sunday morning. So now my truck looks like somebody threw 45 angry cats on the paint (nothing a little wax-job can't take care of), and the inside of my truck smells like a Schlitz Brewery.
I'm still dragging ass from this weekend, and considering the circumstances local and otherwise, I'm not doing so bad.
Oh, I almost forgot. I recently got a new cd with the song "Portions for Foxes" by Rilo Kiley. That song is the PERFECT rebuttal to the Killer's "Mr. Brightside." The whole jealous boy/jealous girl thing is pretty well covered in these two songs.
By the way, stories of people on acid/shrooms involving leprechauns/gnomes are now, as recently brought to my attention, interchangeable. Funny...you can just put whatever entity you want too in the blanks and it fits...I guess they do that in Tennessee as well...either that or a coincidence of universal proportions happened during my lifetime, but I wouldn't count on it...
Cory Will
1 comment:
did you throw grasshoppers at justin??
Because that would have been really fun to read about, also. I wanted to talk about my weekend in my blog, but some things just need to be left unsaid. Even for me!! Like the fact that I look like I got beat up in a downtown alley, and quite possibly did but don't recall that happening. I'm glad you had fun, because you need it.
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