Trademark Insanity

I feel like this blog is like a canvas sometimes...a meaningless one, but a canvas nonetheless. I throw shit at the walls and see what sticks. But it keeps me in practice for more purposeful endeavors I suppose. Whateva.

Let's see here...

Sooo, McDonalds has robots that pour the drinks now. I hate McDonalds, but was in a rush to get back to work, and yep, I pulled up into the drive-thru and there was this conveyer-belt-ish mechanism that was pulling cups out of a stack, rotating around, filling them with ice, and then pouring whatever drink it was that I ordered in the cup. But the human still has control over putting the lid on. We're not completely irrelevant....yet. Plus, apparently McDonalds is ape-ing the new Shrek movie, which I won't see, but the best part is, they have these little hats. They're green. And they have the little antennae, that Shrek sports, on top of the hat. With that said, what does EVERY SINGLE MCDONALDS DRIVE THRU ATTENDANT LOOK LIKE? Oh you know...if you live anywhere in the Southern United States, isn't it always a 5'3" 180 to 190 lb. latino girl named Maria or Beatriz? Of course it is. She has a really round face and her jet black hair is always pulled back and she looks just....like.....Shrek. So of course, I pulled up to the window and who did I see...Shrekita. I paid my tab, pulled up to the next window and expected to see an Italian girl with a big nose dressed like Donkey. I don't think McDonalds thoroughly hammered out the idea from an employee-friendly demographic perspective when they thought these hats were "the thing to do." I guarantee in Texas alone, there's 4,680 latino Shreks working, swiping your card so you can eat your heart attack. Well done McDonalds.

I've always said, in about 30 years, pending any nuclear holocaust activities, Wal-Mart, Microsoft, McDonalds, and I'm gonna throw Toyota and Starbucks into the mix now, will battle for control of the Earth. I'll be hiding in the ocean by then, on my raft made of Outback bread trays/cutting boards. Shaded by a huge fucking American flag. I really need to sever myself from the zeitgeist surrounding me. Or create my own, I suppose.

So Rolling Stone came out with their 40th Anniversary Edition the other day, and the gig was, they interviewed all of these iconic music and social figures from back when Rolling Stone was a start-up publication. Of course, it's your typical "political activist Rolling Stone" issue. Bob Dylan, Martin Scorsese, Jane Fonda, Paul McCartney, Neil Young, George McGovern, Mick Jagger, Jimmy Carter, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Ringo Star, Patti Smith, Tom Wolfe, Norman Mailer..you know your standard lineup of 60's art-school figureheads. Every single interview was a "now vs. then," type deal. Vietnam, the draft, the counterculture movement, all of these things were central in every interview. I'm not saying that shouldn't be the way it is. I mean, Rolling Stone was taking it's first breaths in San Francisco in the middle of all that shit, but it's a bit too predictable...if you ask me. There wasn't just a whole lot devoted to the music that was covered over Rolling Stones existence or the impact it has had on the music industry. Fucking anyways, one of them says in the interview that times are different, regarding both of the wars (Vietnam/Iraq), because of the inactivity of the youth nowadays. He's basically calling us apathetic. I agree with quite a bit of his logic. But times are different. They are different wars, and in some instances, they're about different idealogies. Both of which are difficult to make a case for. Everything around us is different, especially our mental proclivity. We're numbed into submission by consumer products and the overload of information that bombards us everyday trying to bogart our attention. He basically says its a junk-image society for a junk-image world. There's a wealth of truth to that...I couldn't agree more. But like all things, it was "better then than it is now," and it was "more meaningful then than it is now." It's all kind of sanctimonious, really. I like it, and that's natural coming from their perspective. They felt their energy was more powerful and revolutionary than any the world has ever seen. The social and cultural impacts they made in trying to usher in this spiritual utopia, even though they fell well short, was the most important time in modern cultural history...in their eyes. Now that could be argued, yes, and I could write a thesis on this shit, about how I think the counterculture ate itself, and how the baby-boomers, who had all these splendid ideas of change and desire for setting a new precedent are the same generation who drove us into this shithole psyche-crumbling existence in the first place. I mean, their intentions were revolutionary, but their greed was ultimately more pervasive. Their drugs then were the vehicles of reformation, but their drugs now are a subsistence of numb coping. But I'm too tired and I won't get into all of that.

My favorite character on the Sopranos died. Chris Moltisanti met his end at the hands of Tony Soprano, ironically enough. He made it till there were 3 episodes left. I rooted for him from day 1, but he couldn't pull out of the funk, man. Too many drugs and bad decisions. All my characters are tragic.

The Kings of Leon concert we went to was fucking unbelieveable. As always. I think this makes the fourth time I've seen them. It saddens me a bit, that they're becoming increasingly popular. You can always tell by the crowd. At the other shows, it was nothing but hipsters, a few drug store cowboys, girls and guys with Buddy Holly glasses, and a few whiskey swilling drunks here and there. This time, I saw quite a few bullhead fraternity assholes with the pink polos, collars popped, Wolverine dura-shock boots, Oakland A's hat tipped slightly to the side...just your typical fucking douchebags really. I mean, I'm rooting for the KOL...I can take pride in showing them to just about every one of my friends who listens to them...I was there from the start, and they're a great band...simple as that. But it would be nice if they'd fly just under the radar a little while longer before they're adopted as the opening songs in frathouse parties, or played on the golf course by drunk salesmen, or at a Mavs game.

After the show, I drank enough alcohol to kill off the remaining rain-forest gorillas, and split my fucking head open like a coconut. I mean, I fucking ruined my face. You see, I think it's always a splendid idea to dance with girl's when I'm drunk, be it in a street or wherever. There doesn't have to be music...or even a dancefloor, for that matter. I usually have some kind of circus music playing in my head, and when I'm drunk, I'm a little misguided in thinking I have skills a la John Travolta. So I'm twirling the little lady around who happened to be with us and I crash like a fucking kamikaze into an aircraft carrier on the concrete....taking her with me. Split the wig with a nice three inch gash and bled like a sieve for 3 hours afterwards. It didn't help that my blood was like paint thinner because of all of the alcohol. It was red water basically. I didn't hurt her...I took the brunt of the fall, which is good...but still not. It's gonna be a pretty gnarly scar. My skull was breathing fresh air above my eyebrow, my ear looked like a terrier had been chewing on it for 3 days, and my shirt looked like "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" had used it as a tampon. I had the fucking wah-wah's in my ears the next day at work and it sounded like everyone was talking under water for pretty much the duration of the day. In fact, I'm not 100% sure I didn't have a concussion. I went to the doctor the next day, because being so drunk you can't conjugate a sentence kinda gives away the mystery of how you acquired said scar. At least the next day I told him some bullshit about a softball game or something. He told me it really needed stitches, but once it closes up, there's not much you can do. My pride probably hurt more than anything. So aside from the fact that I looked like I called Lennox Lewis a nigger to his face, I had a pretty fun time that night.

On another note, there's things she does that are starting to become really cute to me as of late. I don't need those little particles coursing through my veins right now, circling around the chambers of my heart and the folds of my brain. I think I'll drink some lighter fluid tonight....put the ixnay on that shit.