Ready, Rotten, Dead, Forgotten

I'm surrounded by capitalists.
Ghosts in people suits.

Digging, and digging, and digging.
For something that won't be there in the end.
Leaves faster than was found.
With no sound.
Under the ground.

Like some old Farmer's Almanac,
I feel a bit more wise.

But I don't know why it's taken so long to find my own voice.
My feet have carried me this far.

Pulling through the valley,
And hearing God's songs is like some vigilante,
At war's end.
It'll be nice to breathe.
To finally breathe.

It'll be really nice.
To feel that rain again.

I can't tell if my intentions get out in front of my mouth,
Or if it's the other way around.

You can see how that might stand in conflict with my better judgement.
But oh well.
My ears just ring,
So my eyes just close.
I know where I want to go.

If that's as close as I can get, that's as close as I'll take.
I expect it will be nice.

The Hottest Summer Ever and a Decade of Terror

There could not be a stranger year. There could not be a more backwards reflection. There could not be more paranoia or great divides in trust. People have gathered under my nails as I scratch and claw and rake through their minds trying to find their rationality. Bloody nails that hurt and burn and sting. Fires that billow and smoke that evaporates the sweet air from our lungs. Wine and beer and whiskey that only sings you to sleep until the next morning. Songs that won't come out and lockjaw that won't move. Everything is burning around here. Great fires that swallow acres of altruism. An armor is required for passage and flight. We all take the world upon our shoulders...as we must...and somewhere beneath that...under the fading carbon is the meaning of it all. It's the temperate silence of sweet serenity. It's God's love.

The Felice Brothers - Frankie's Gun from Laurent Rejto on Vimeo.

Very Much Yes

New Song

Threw her together tonight.

Bob Dylan's 78th Hangover

Bob Dylan's 78th Hangover by coryreinisch

Park Your Integrity Right Here

A good friend recently expounded on nothing less than the merits of integrity. Inspiration comes in all forms.

Sometimes I wonder if I have the good sense. The kind of sense it takes to paddle in between the shores of life's long river. I like to think that I do. I think through effective and purposed raising, some of this was branded on my hide. Even while I was squirming to get away.

But I also do that. I do get away with it sometimes. That's the rub. I could dive into the abyss here and wrestle with the different colors of moral conviction and the directive benefits and ruthless cage of guilt. However, I will not.

It's like I read on some wall somewhere. "When I was little, I wanted a bike really bad. So I thought I'd work really hard, pray for it, and then I'd deserve it. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole it and asked for forgiveness."

I don't believe it's an inherent personality trait that's been decided for me, or anyone for that matter. In fact, I've found (to my own detriment) that my "politeness" has worked against me, in a counter-active way. Just as someone might find their ruthless intentions negatively influencing their environment. My friends often tell me I'm "too polite." That sounds awfully self-indulgent, but in some respects it's ridiculously fucking true.

I'm also not saying that you hand-pick where to apply your integrity. It should be held steadfast at all times (I do really believe this...I'm not trying to convince myself). I also know that we all stumble in this regard. Quite often, even when there is colossal effort. There are just certain times in our lives where we find a certain amount of gray area. That's why I think it's ultimately important to hold your integrity true to yourself. If you have an internal compass and place value on it's direction, you're never really lost.

Trust me...this is no high-championing of my virtuous existence. Cause God knows...

I've recently been afforded an opportunity to do something that I really genuinely want to do, but have refused to do so in order to spare someone's feelings. The same someone, who once presented with the same opportunity, did not spare mine.

It has nothing to do with holding moral high ground. It has everything to do with sleeping at night. Looking in the mirror and being able to look yourself in the eye, confident with what you're seeing.

Dammit.

Dealt a Good Hand

I don't normally show my cards in this regard, but a good friend put me on this awhile back and it holds tremendous water with me.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Philippians 4:12

It's good to feel what you know to be truth.