Don't Be Afraid of What You've Learned

There are two things a person should never be angry at; what they can help and what they cannot."

~ Plato

The French say anger is a bad counselor (le wise!). I say that's probably a fair assessment. Anger can also be sharpened into an efficient utensil. It certainly has its place and its necessity in this world and within our hearts and minds. If it weren't for anger injustice would prevail...at all times. Cruelty and malice would be ever-present. Anger is a useful tool with providence to drive these things back into the woods and let them know that we mean business. That such action and decorum will not be tolerated. But anger is a pretty poison. It beckons with ease, and welcomes during the initial onset. Be that as it may, shame has a wicked ability to rear it's ugly head if anger isn't channeled in proper avenues.

I find myself being less angry. Not necessarily in measurable instances, but moreso in duration. I don't rightly recall a moment in time when I decided this to be the case or convention, but let's call it a "gathering of evidence" over the years. I've found that if something is addressed immediately without an unfortunate festering, resolution always follows shortly thereafter. Any emotion really. Happiness, melancholy, worry, anger, elation, pride, jealousy, guilt, longing, excitement, loneliness, joy, anticipation, optimism, remorse, lust, relief...all these things are what make us truly human, and I'd venture so far to say that without each of these we're probably getting the short end of the stick on this great ride of life. The magic trick seems to be balancing them though.

Mama always told me that in any relationship (any relationship) you should surround yourself with people who have a center line and don't swing erratically from one side of the pendulum to the next without reason or the capacity to find their footing at the center. A "true zero" (for lack of a better term) is a valuable thing to possess, because it allows us a frame of reference. There's always something to return to. Something that allows us to operate within a comfortable degree of certainty that we are who and what we actually convince ourselves we are. A blueprint for reality, if you will...I'll spare you the laborious dive into metaphysical objectivism and leave "reality" up to the brain people.

Some of this newfound comfort with emotion is akin to the wonderful process of aging. As we age, we refine our ability to place emotion into circumstance. 5 years ago, I would write a miniature thesis about conversation that rubbed me wrong till my sleeves were bloody. Now, I just sit and think awhile...assign my emotions where they are most useful, complete their mission, and move on. Trust me...it's not a perfected campaign, but it's showing signs of maturity.

In the world of moral relativism, emotion never really takes allegiance to a side. We often assign it an allegiance to "right or wrong" because we're clouded with whatever overriding sense of humanity seems to be pervading our every thought at the moment. But saying anger is wrong is short-sighted, and conversely saying happiness is good is also myopic. Anger is anger. Happiness is happiness. Carrying guilt for either one is gratuitous. You're human...it's quite alright.

Separating the rational from the emotional, as it turns out, seems to be an exercise in futility...as anyone can tell you. Even so, balance between the two certainly brings clarity. But you have to be careful to give each their fair say. Let them be heard.

Having an emotion means being human.

Controlling that emotion so that it prevents damage is maturity.

Accepting maturity is grace.

And grace is providence...


It gets easier. Even if we don't know why.