Disarming the Null and Void

My heart is a pounding war drum.
My eyes are long blue telescopes scanning the horizon.
Affixed and darting like the fireflies in my periphery throughout the heavy green vines, sweating fluorescence in the summer's sweltering choke.
My ears are deciphering sonnets and whispers charted in code.
The breeze lifts them into the air, and like radar I'm privy to what is heading this way,
So I can greet as friend or foe.
Whiskey is my petrol and my stomach burns like a combustion engine,
Shooting fuel into my amber-soaked brain...
The throttle is open.
It always is.

I've fired the first salvo,
But I've been lashed with a shiner hovering over my eye.
My aim was true.
True as my intentions.
Self-favoring is their vision and deceptive regret is the monologue.
I will raise no white flag on this hazy evening for I am a madman.
Mad as hell with a head full of bubbles and a tongue like a fuse.
I run with the moon and howl like the wild creatures stalking the cut in the middle of the night.
With blood in the nostrils I can feel kerosene pumping through my ventricles, and straining through my capillaries.
I hold no hostages, and I pour salt in wounds.
My favourite nerves hold tight and secure.
I clench my jaw and shake.

Painfully hungry, but no seat at the table.
I've got a plan, but some problems arise.
I've no more to give than what was already there.
Roads in black and skies in gray, sitting above your home...
You just gotta try harder, or feel alone.
Tell me something I don't know.
I'm angling for peace, and I do it standing up.
You're exhausted while the lights are on,
And I just want something graceful.

These are diamond-tipped offerings from the heart of a wanderer.
Everything means something.
A professional bleeding heart.
Everything you can see matters.
A poker face aimed at God and the devil keeps them guessing.
A ransom on the auction block for my soul.
It will take a strong arm.
It could be the great return of the wandering boy.
Tying cuts of ribbon to the trees he's passed so he can find his way back.
If only the storms hadn't untied and carried them off into the firmament.
I would lead you, but it's too absolute.
First I yelled.
Then I knelt.
Then I healed.

Everything you can see matters.