Should've Been In Love

I find out how drawn I am to you when I wake next to you and you're still asleep.
You're side of the bed is always warm.
Alarm clock is too loud.
At all times.
I used to yank it across lanes without minding lines.
Trying to cross the road,
Getting blasted at 70 miles per hour...
I didn't see you coming...
Blindsided and totaled like a blind man.
A blind boy.
A blind child.
Running free and flying wild.
So you say, "Your eyes tell more about you than anything else."
I suppose that's flattering, but that's never how I've seen myself.
Moving back and forth, mind racing through thoughts.
So selfish for the betterment of all that we caught.
When time wastes away, I don't mind wasting it with you.
Maybe we could change the world, but my time gets wasted too.
Wasted on you.
So I'm destined for greatness, you're destined for purity,
Singing all the songs that are inside of me.
A chorus of plans, a chorus of doubts,
A chorus of all the things we've lived without.
Little whispers rock me to sleep, prepare me for the night.
All those little whispers throughout the night,
Stand alone and ease into the light.
You act as an eraser, wiping away all the doubt,
Blank slates erase the screams and shouts...
For things in the past have let me down,
I don't want to let you down.
No iron walls, only doors open.
Serenity falls and fate calls.
An egregious expectation stalls.
I don't know what to expect from you.
I don't know what to do.
Everything in this is new.
I think of boredom as an enemy, but I can see that we've killed that beast.
Turned our heads to the West and our backs to the East.
Only standing over what we could be.
Blazing eyes like a prairie fire,
I can only give into my desire, and turn like an orb within the words of cryptic steadiness.

My heart stands in readiness.
Bleeding just the same.
But it rests when I hear you call it's name.